Melony is the Organizer of the Toddler Adventure Group in Mountain View, California. This is the story of how she came to be a Meetup Organizer and found a real community in an unfamiliar place.
We were so inspired by her story that we wanted to share it with everyone.
- Meetup HQ
In September 2008 I landed at SFO. It was Friday, it was very hot, I had a tearful toddler (having just endured a 10 hour flight from the UK) and a partner who was due to start work that Monday morning. We were dropped at an unwelcoming corporate apartment in somewhere called Santa Clara, slept, spent the weekend house hunting – blindly, as we didn’t know the area, and stumbled towards Monday morning.
On that morning, Nick, my partner of 10 years, went off to the familiar setting of work. Sammy, my 23 month old, was the only other person I knew in America... Gulp!
This is an account of how Meetup.com found me a grassroots community in the heart of Silicon Valley.
After a few days, I found a gorgeous town house, local parks and Whole Foods. Now I could at least eat, sleep and entertain Sammy a little. The problem was...I didn’t know anyone. I quickly discovered the local population was very transient and not always particularly friendly. Being Silicon Valley, a lot of people where here for a short time, which posed a problem. There seemed to be less community groups. Yes, there were community centers, but I needed friends and a social life for my toddler rather than a topic based session. As everyone I met seemed to be busy arriving or planning to leave the Valley it meant they were less chatty or keen to invest time in chance meetings...these people were busy! Sigh...
Time for the Internet. I started looking for toddler and playgroups and, with a little help from search engines, I stumbled on the Toddler Adventure Group (TAG), on something called ‘Meetup.com’.
Hmmm, you could search for groups and interests, then just join. No membership, no fees, no difficult, interfering questions...ok, I'd forgotten what it was like to talk to an adult...lets join!
After a week or so, my first event was posted, a local play event... perfect.
However, it didn’t go well. The Organizer didn’t turn up, I couldn't find anyone from the Group, and I was a little disheartened.
Then the TAG Organizer stepped down. Meetup seemed to quickly jump into action. An email came around asking if anyone wanted to run the Group. I thought, "why not?" I took over things and began to get to grips with the role. The most pleasing aspect was that as a busy mum and partner, I thought, "Have I really got the time and the confidence to do this?" but with Meetup, I had back up.
To post my first event all I had to do was follow the format, not techie stuff, no fliers, no chasing...simple. So I posted.
We met at a local play gym. It was hectic, but I met a few lovely Moms. We chatted and I felt really inspired and encouraged. When I got home, I clicked on the site. Meetup had arranged for me to have feedback from who went...again, no chasing members.
I had several nice comments and ideas for future events, plus new members had joined.
Ok…I had a few questions - I didn’t understand some of the things on the site and was unsure if some things were working…should I email Meetup and ask? Seems easy, but are they a big corporation who are going to send an automated reply?
I needed help here, not techie, patronizing voices at the end of the line. I mailed a series of what I thought silly questions and what happened next was both pleasantly surprising and most reassuring - Meetup replied to each mail, personally and in a very friendly, supportive manner...some even put smiley faces. :)
I felt like I had a genuine support network, I had my own ‘yes you can' people. This was good, very good. I am not going to detail the next few weeks/months, as this would take a LONG time. But, we had lots of Meetups.
Then, one of our members said she knew a venue we could use as a regular playgroup Meetup. It was at the local NASA research center, and it was amazing, it even had its own park. Now we had a regular Group event as well as numerous field trips and play-dates.
I was beginning to make friends and I discovered something. This was silicon valley - A lot of very clever individuals who worked endless hours lived here, inventing, investing, discovering...They were locked in boardrooms and laboratories. Their families, who moved with them, were locked in the house. Once a week music classes/nursery/daycare were not filling the void.
Our Meetup Group seemed to be creating a community of its own. I had a growing number of friends, as did Sammy. In fact, now I didn’t always have time to meet his father from work... now I WAS BUSY. Wow.
This started expanding and I have now have wonderful friends and enjoy regular, varied Group events all around the Bay Area.
At a recent event we discussed my plans to write this piece where we drew a comparison to our grandmothers. They would have had a community where they met at women's groups or through church, a community that was local, supportive and solid.
We have that...thanks to Meetup. Many of us don’t have family here but now we are each other's family and support network. Another interesting development is that we have even started meeting on weekends, so our husbands can hang out too. That truly is the sign of supportive community moving forward.
So here is where we currently stand. We meet formally through the site once a week (usually Mondays) but I see different members from the Group who are now my close friends, almost every day throughout the week. Just through our own “community” grapevine, I usually go to one 'girls night out' a month, and I usually meet other families once or twice a month on weekends. There is a lot of playdates that happen between members behind the scenes during the week also and, in August, 18 of us, including families, have booked a large property to enjoy a weekend away together.
I feel were are a real functioning community, that has been created through Meetup and because of Meetup.
Now, someone calls me at least once a week to say, Mel, I met someone at the park, they are new here so I have given them the site address. It's like a safe way to introduce new people into the area and our lives.
The biggest thing, I still email Meetup staff with ‘silly’ questions and concerns/comments and they always get back to me promptly. They are always friendly and I feel like, even though they are a huge organization, that they want to get back to me because they want our Group to do well. As it says on our own site,
support is a beautiful thing!
